Given that the Westerner tourist had no hidden agenda, clearly, the situation here is due to the difference in cross cultural non-verbal communication style. Westerners are brought up to be more open-minded and straight-forward and the Asians are generally more conservative and less direct. This forms a kind of cross cultural communication difference between Westerners and Asians and thus, in turn, creates the difficulties in understanding each other which leads to the existence of misunderstandings between each other like the given scenario. Firstly, the direct approach by the Westerner was thought to be bold by my cousin who is conservative. Asians generally do not have body interaction with people whom they do not know, except for handshake, thus the Westerner had scared my cousin off with the intimate action, as seen by my cousin.
However, to solve the problem of difference in culture, understanding of each others’ cultures is important. With globalization, information of the cultural background of the countries is accessible on the Internet, books, etc. Should the Westerner have known more about the culture of Asians, he would not have scared off my cousin, leaving her with the thought of him trying to take advantage of her!
5 comments:
Hi Sabrina,
This is indeed a classic example of a tourist committing a cultural faux pas in a foreign land!
Given the common practice of tourists (especially those from western countries) devouring entire books of Lonely Planet guidebooks before reaching their holiday destination, it is therefore surprising that the tourist is unaware of the conservative nature of Singaporean girls.
Since one party is dysfunctional in this intercultural interactions, perhaps your cousin could take the initiative to raise the issue verbally by stating her discomfort when he first put his hands around her waist. This might have resolve the subsequent unpleasant turn of events.
On a digression, your cousin should be flattered, because he probably chose to take the photo with her because she is a pretty representative of Singapore girls!
Hi Sabrina,
This is indeed a very good example of the difference in culture between Singaporeans and Westerners. Westerners are indeed more open-minded about physical contact between opposite gender.
I think the Westerner might have thought that since we are known to ba a cosmopolitan city state, we are more open-minded than people from other Asian countries. Indeed, he should have check out our culture more before making such a request.
This example shows how we should have prior knowledge about a country's culture and custom before visiting to avoid any misunderstanding and embarrassment.
Elaine
I agree that Caucasians are more open-minded and they usually show their feelings more profusely than Asians. However, I feel that this Westerner is making use of his well-known open-minded culture. If taking photograph with locals was the only thing he wanted, why didn’t he approach both of you? Aren’t you a local as well?
However, this could be my misjudgement as I am a conservative Asian myself. Indeed, the Westerner tourist should be more aware of our Asian culture. If not, we would be the ones getting more ‘culture shock’ than him.
Hey Sabrina,
This issue of body contact is probably going to fade away in time to come. As with globalization and the intertwining of cultures, such foreign cultures are probably getting more acceptable among the general population. Nowadays, it is quite common to also see Asians hug each other when they see each other, though it is still probably more common amongst westerners.
I've personally seen my parents' perspective change through the years. My father witnessed perhaps an even more disturbing practice as compared to just a hug. A couple of years ago, my parents attended a company function. There, my father saw a foreigner kissing my mom on the cheeks as a sign of greeting. Needless to say, he was very uneasy, although he did not show his discontent immediately. Only when they got home did he voice out his concern. Of course, my mom explained to him that such greetings were common to foreigners. Subsequently for other meetings, he realized that such practices were just another way of greeting someone and got accustomed to it.
As times change, I believe that people should consider changing with the times as well, and adapting to new cultures and practices. By doing so, it allows one to appreciate the different customs out there in the world.
Cheers!
hi,
Maybe your cousin also felt that its weird that he ask her only and not with you together. I believe that westerner still feels that its alright to hug as a gesture of appreciation.
On the other hand, they should take note of the culture in the country before visiting, so as to avoid any misunderstanding or even conflictions.
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